| Got that old pigskin fever? Getting
charged up to see the boys in tights bang heads? Feel the burning desire to consume
multiple corndogs, paint your belly and chug light beer while shouting? And of all the
cities in the nation, Las Vegas is one of the best towns to behold the spectacle. But
where in Vegas should a true sports fan take in the big game? This guide to hot spots
and titty shots is all you need to make your Super Bowl dreams come true in Sin
City. Go Big or Go Home!
Of the Vegas venues to watch the game, perhaps the most
obvious are the Strip sports books. Most major Vegas casinos have a giant sports corner,
featuring a floor-to-ceiling wall of TV screens (every sports event in real time!) with
scores flashing across a ticker. The best feature of this "sportsapalooza" is
the betting counter. In Vegas, you can put money on everything from horse races to
presidential elections. On Super Bowl Sunday, however, these areas are mobbed. The most
serious betting occurs quarter to quarter, and the sports books can get a little hairy
depending on how the game pans out. All locals avoid the sports books and major hotels, as
most only feature super snobby VIP parties (with amazing food and free booze but are by
invite only).
That said, if your heart still sings for a giant wall of
TVs and money changing hands, the best sports book in Vegas must be at the Mandalay Bay.
With 17 mega screens, seats for 300 and steady odds, the Mandalay Bay is a tourist
favorite. For lush tastes, the more refined fans head to the Bellagio for leather seats,
classy cocktail service and hundreds of personal screens dedicated to men tossing balls.
All fired up? The most exciting this season could be New York-New York's race and sports
book, affiliated with the ESPN Zone (a television bar for sports fanatics). With the
Giants in the big game, these guys are rooting for the underdog in a major way.
Up Close and Personal
Need some naked women with your head thumping? Care for a
buffet with that? Perhaps the hottest tickets for game day here in Vegas are at one of the
off-Strip gentlemen's clubs. Local favorites include Scores, voted Best Gentlemen's Club
for years by Vegas readers. This club boasts 500 "international showgirls" on
two levels. That means there are over 25,000 square feet of fine dining, sports and naked
chicks. The big game party package includes a free limo from the Strip (you only travel
one block), free food and an open bar during the game. And the good thing about football?
Tons of commercial breaks! Squeeze in a lap dance!
Of course, the "World's Largest Gentlemen's Club"
is offering a special Super Sunday package. Sapphire Las Vegas, known to most as the
biggest and best club in town, offers halftime dollar dances and buckets of beer for their
Super Bowl party. Ladies can even hide out in the bachelorette room. Locals get in free.
There's a great spread. And don't underestimate the multiple VIP areas if the slobbering,
retarded football guys get too annoying.
You Roll Me Right Round, Baby
And if one club is too much commitment, you can always hook
up a tour with VIPN Vegas or Vegas VIP. For a mere several hundred dollars, they'll drive
you around town in a limo, drop you in a few sports spots, then head to the famed Sin City
nightclubs to finish the night off right. Oh yes, complete with a late-night stop at the
giant 24 hour buffet. It's the American dream! One word of warning: traffic is terrible.
My advice would be to bring a friend. Though you could be spending those vital final
moments of the second half in the back seat of a car, I'm sure you can find some excellent
company to make the trip.
But honestly, where are most Vegans watching this
bloodthirsty bonanza of sweat, mud and testosterone? Most locals, like the majority of
leather-headed Americans, will be on a couch of their very own. In front of the boob-tube
and betting money online, Super Bowl will be television's biggest event of the year.
But don't you long to see the action up close? Don't most
Americans dream of a city where their waitress is really a giant-breasted hooker, and the
corner pub has a screen the size of your house? Can't get enough blood and betting to calm
your game day desires? The sinful, money hungry, super sexy world of Las Vegas sports is
everything a super fan could ever want. After all, according to Doug Plank, football is a
lot like Vegas: temperamental. That is, 10 percent temper, 90 percent mental. |
