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Poker Tip
Of Week: Re-Buy Tournaments
By Phil Contrino
Posted: 4:30 am PDT 2006-09-18 |
Courtesy Of Internet Casino and Poker Room at WagerWeb.com |
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There is this scene midway through Fight
Club where the two main characters (or should I say the one main character) discuss
which celebrity they would fight if given the opportunity.
Watching the scene, I couldn't help but think about which celebrities would be interesting
to go heads up against at a card table. Granted, thanks to the huge popularity of
poker, we've seen the likes of Ben Affleck, Norm MacDonald, Tobey McGuire and Jennifer
Tilly try to parlay their celebrity status into a successful poker career. Yet there
are tons of other celebrities that would make for an interesting presence at a table.
First off, let me say that I wouldn't go near either Clint Eastwood or Bob Dylan if a deck
of cards was involved. Both of these guys hold a God-like status in my eyes, and I'd
be too busy pinching myself to actually focus on what I was holding. And forget about
getting a read on them; watch Unforgiven or footage of Dylan receiving the
Kennedy Center Honor to see how these two define the word stoic.
I'd also avoid annoying celebrities like Carrot Top, Pauly Shore and Kathy Griffin.
Listening to Shore talk about his glory days on Encino Man and drunkenly hitting
on women would be more than I could handle. I like to enjoy my experience at a poker
table.
I wouldn't mind having a nice home game with the likes of Jack Nicholson, Charlie Sheen,
Bill Murray and Al Pacino. Although that would be more about the party after than it
would be about the game itself.
Sitting around a table with Martin Scorsese and his regular collaborators like Robert
DeNiro and Joe Pesci would also be a good time. Every guy with blood pumping through
his veins has at one point imagined what it would be like to live the GoodFellas life. Sitting
at a card table with the people behind the movie, with some good spaghetti and some
expensive wine, would be the safer alternative.
Opening the concept to celebrities no longer with us makes it even more
interesting. Imagine the conversations that would take place at a table with Frank
Sinatra, Hunter S. Thompson, Rodney Dangerfield, John Belushi and Jim Morrison.
If I were looking to make money I'd go after someone like director Michael Bay. The
guy has already stolen so much cash from the public with crappy summer blockbusters like Armageddon
that taking some huge pots from him would be almost cathartic. Woody Allen also
wouldn't be bad to play. I love the man's films, but he has little self-confidence
and is about as pessimistic as they come. It would be easy to talk him out of his
game, and even easier to forcefully bet him out of mediocre hands.
It would also be fun to take money from celebrities whose work I just flat out don't
enjoy. Martin Lawrence and Rob Schneider immediately come to mind, and so does the
Napoleon Dynamite guy. I'd also love to win a nice, drawn out heads up match against
Peter Jackson to make up for all the hours the Lord of the Rings trilogy and King
Kong painfully took from my life.
The key to successfully playing celebrities would be to act timid. Make them feel
that you're afraid of them, and then take their money when they start to think they can
just push you around. Maybe compliment one of their less well-received movies, and
make them feel even better about themselves than they already do. Or in the case of
Shore, make a joke about his life and put him on tilt.
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